Welcome!

(You can do this!)

This blog has one goal: To teach anyone who wants to learn to cook, to do so, competently, with gusto and abandon, in a very short time.

...And to amuse. Okay, make that TWO goals, but THAT'S IT! No more goals, I mean it!

To achieve this (these) lofty goal(s), we are going to take a completely different (and somewhat silly) path.

You see, those of us who would like to learn to cook, usually set out on the path of learning 'how-to'; alone, woefully unprepared, and often scarred, burned and otherwise demoralized from some pretty spectacular failures that were not really our fault.

I mean, who could possibly guess that a hamper full of tuna sandwiches and potato salad, when sun-ripened for only 10 measly hours could make 2 entire church choirs that sick?

I certainly didn't!
I believe that these errors occur because the so-called 'cookbooks' that we try to decipher, are designed to confuse, irritate and destroy one's confidence.

Basket o' Doom---

I believe that there is a secret society of restaurant owners, food critics, chefs, and wine snobs who form an elite and snobbish cartel. A secret society that tries to keep good food rare and expensive by any means necessary.

I happen to know that they wear hoods and meet on Thursdays to plot ways to humiliate and embarrass us with French, Latin and 'made-up' words like 'fondant', 'arugula', and 'cuisine'.

(I also believe that aliens walk the Earth and sometimes hide my TV remote but that's not relevant here.)

Victims of this Foodie Cartel, we are forced to search for knowledge on our own. Naked as babes and naive as newborn bunnies, we roam the bookstores, untensil purveyors,

---Hooded Foodie Foe!

food sources and websites hoping to learn this art, this craft, this magic called "cooking". Our hopes, hearts and faces, bright and noble, face a gauntlet of tough tasks made all the more difficult by these unseen foes.

Don't despair. We shall prevail.

DS, LK & F is your ticket out of fast-food pick-up land, away from take-out for Thanksgiving, and nevermore shall you be forced to dine out of styrofoam containers with a "spork".

Yes, my friends, come with me, and we shall cut through the scruff and scree of pomp and pretension, and simplify the whole "learn-to-cook" process.

It's like nothing you've ever seen before. And it works!

NEXT: So! What's with the goofy name?